One of my favorite scenes:

This movie shook me up.

Sometimes, I don't know how to ingest something. This is one of those cases. I feel affected by what I saw on the screen, but I need more time to process it. There were parts of the film that I could identify with, and others that were foreign to me - these are the parts that frighten and excite me. It made me aware of my Whiteness all over again, and I felt out of place in the theater as one of the few White people present. 

The sections of the movie that I felt a strong connection to and related to most were those that dealt with the difficulties women face in relationships. I wondered though how my experience might be different than a woman of color's experience...does my race serve as some sort of protective factor, or affect my experience in some way? I am sure that it does, but I am not sure how just yet.

The end of the movie, when the women all come together as one group, was inspiring for me - and it also made me think about a sense of sisterhood and community. One of the aspects of race that I first became aware of when I was younger was the sense of community that I perceived it as offering you.  Only, I didn't feel that sense of community; I didn't feel a connection to other White people, and it wasn't like there was a clearly defined 'culture' of Whiteness. I felt like I was missing out on something, like there was some intangible connectedness that I wasn't tapped into.

Now this whole idea may have been naive, and it may have been oversimplifying matters of race far too much. But I was reminded of it as I watched For Colored Girls, and I was reminded of the fact that authenticity in both in-group and out-group relationships can be hard to establish. I often feel like where I am in my own racial identity development has affected my ability to build authentic friendships with women of other races and cultures, while also putting me in a very different place than some of my White peers.  It's hard for me to make sense of and to be coherent in my explanation; all I can say is that these are the thoughts that are rolling around in my head after watching this film.