Where's the White community?

It's hard to feel a part of any community when most White people don't even identify as White. I know that American society is built to serve us, that we are taught the White person's history almost exclusively, that everything around me is constructed to make me feel comfortable and at home.  But somehow, I don't.


I've been reading selections from Why Are All the Black Kids Sitting Together in the Cafeteria? by Beverly Daniel Tatum.  As I've moved along in the development of my own racial identity, it's been hard to know where I fit anymore.  There's not many spaces where it's acceptable for me to speak openly about race, my past transgressions, and the understanding of myself and others that I'm starting to come to. I don't want to be a burden to my friends that identify as people of color and be constantly talking to them about it; I used to be the person that was always wanting to be taught, and I don't want anyone to feel like I'm asking them to do that for me now.  But at the same time, I know so few white people that have given any thought to the subject.  Back home in Massachusetts, the discussion seems to still be back on whether or not racism still exists - seriously - so it's hard to even move past that to the point of any real conversation.  So where am I left? A few good books, a couple of friends, this one class on ISMs?


I want to become more aware and I want to work against this system of oppression rather than remaining a part and beneficiary of it, but I don't know where I belong in that fight.  Like the black kids who sit together in the cafeteria because they need a group of people who understand what they are dealing with, I want a group of like-minded anti-racist white folks so we can help each other along in this process, and ultimately work more productively and respectfully towards ending racism.

"None of us would introduce ourselves as "smog-breathers" (and most of us don't want to be described as prejudiced), but if we live in a smoggy place, how can we avoid breathing the air? If we live in an environment in which we are bombarded with stereotypical images in the

media, are frequently exposed to the ethnic jokes of friends and family members, and are

rarely informed of the accomplishments of oppressed groups, we will develop the negative

categorizations of those groups that form the basis of prejudice.

To say that it is not our fault does not relieve us of responsibility, however. We may

not have polluted the air, but we need to take responsibility, along with others, for cleaning

it up. Each of us needs to look at our own behavior. Am I perpetuating and reinforcing

the negative messages so pervasive in our culture, or am I seeking to challenge them?

If I have not been exposed to positive images of marginalized groups, am I seeking them

out, expanding my own knowledge base for myself and my children? Am I acknowledging

and examining my own prejudices, my own rigid categorizations of others, thereby

minimizing the adverse impact they might have on my interactions with those I have categorized?"

-Beverly Daniel Tatum


Moving.

I was recently having a conversation with my roommate about the whole concept of power. We know that we, as two White, middle or upper class, well-educated, native born, able-bodied, heterosexual, english-speaking, non-addicted, young women have lots of power, right? We think about it hypothetically and we know that it's true, and we can even think of instances where our power is more tangible - hailing a cab, opening our mouths and being taken seriously, etc.

But when we move the conversation to thinking about the imbalance of power, we realized how confusing it is to even think about how we could actually, truly give power away in order to rebalance the power structure. How does one even go about that? I can't just say, "here's some of my power!". Society still views me as part of the dominant group, and I don't know if there's a way to hide that.

So this is the conclusion I've come to: it's not about giving power away at this point, it's about leveraging that unearned power to influence policy, decision-makers, and the access to opportunities of others. I can leverage my power in lots of ways; I work for a Jewish organization that is well-known and well-respected, for example. I can leverage my power as a social worker there to build partnerships with other groups and work with them to improve access to areas of power that have been unfairly closed off.

Leveraging and using my power to influence those with even greater power than myself is a concrete, tangible way to affect the power structure. It's do-able, and not quite as overwhelming as trying to take on societal views of power in and of themselves.

I'm white.
Just wanted to say that up front.


If you ask me at any other time I'm probably going to tell you that I'm a woman. I'm middle-class. I come from the "heroin capital of the Northeast".  I'm a student (though, depending where I am, I'm not going to tell you that I go to Columbia cause I'm sort of ashamed).

The whiteness always comes last, but somehow I feel like I can never get past it. When I realized I was white - oh, what a day that was - I realized that it was visible. This is what people knew of me first - not my hometown or my school or my financial situation. They saw my whiteness and that said something, and I'd never even known.


So when I say there's no I in racism, I know how ridiculous it is. But that's how it feels for white folks sometimes, and honestly so.  It's so easy to say you don't see color when you don't see your own.